Table Talk


Maidumji's Poker Chronicles - Part 2

Hello again, my poker peeps!

Maidumji brings you more observations from the poker table and is here to spill the beans on the different kinds of players I have encountered so far. Now I don’t know if technical terms exist for these kinds of players, but I am sharing what I saw for myself. 

So here’s meeting maidumji’s poker rivals, up close and personal!


   The Photo Card Slave – There are 2 people I have played with frequently, and by God, give them a photo card (even if accompanied by a 2) and they are truly married and off on their honeymoon with that card. No matter what the bets, no matter how many players claiming the pot, they CANNOT put a King down. Sometimes they get lucky and hit their pair, but mostly, they give you a lot of money!

   The Tight Mr. Right – I would like to become one and God knows I try! But these are people who are patiently waiting for premium hands and refuse to give in to any bets unless they have AA, KK, AK and only sometimes, QQ. Nothing less works for them but the good thing is, when they re-raise you, promptly fold, yes, even a 10-10 is a FOLD because they have a seriously good hand up their sleeve!

   The Aggressive Killljoy – This is the kind of player who is fearless, will raise on any 2 cards, or call on any 2. Sometimes I think they do it just to mess with your head and sometimes I feel like shoving them off the table with an all-in. Seriously, either you play or I play, because playing with them is a pain! But hey, no points for guessing, they are my least favourite players to indulge!

   The Newbie – These are the cute ones who are learning the ropes of the game and I call them cute because so many times, they don’t even know the strength of their own hand and end up fooling others by their small/lack of appropriate raises. Sure they make a lot of money this way, and end up giving a lot too!

   The Chronic Crybaby – Hates when he loses, whines about it for minutes after, and also lectures you on why you shouldn’t have called his bet. Seriously, grow up already, and learn to take it on the chin!

   The SHARK - Ohh this is the real deal, peeps. The kind of players who are completely unpredictable, and the scariest thing is, they have such a good read on people that they adapt their game effortlessly based on who they are up against. I am sure I am their favourite bait, because I am more transparent than a glass door, and most predictable in the way I play the game. I prefer when they bully me and make me fold, but no, they are smart enough to make just the kind of bet you would call, thereby extracting the maximum they can from a hand.

   The Clueless  - I don’t know what name to give to this variety of poker players, but I think they end up on a poker table by sheer accident. They don’t seem to know the game at all, and just sit there going with the flow, serious! They just do what the instructions say, so they check when the prompt asks them to check, and if there is a bet, they call. If they hit something, good for them, and if not, so be it!

   The Position Ranger – Arre, now this dude will take his “position” very seriously and raise, even with a 3 and 5. Works for me, because I know it is compulsive and at least 50 percent of the time, will work in my favour! Also, they are smart enough to recognize spots for stealing the blinds. Now that is one skill I would love to master!

   The Math Geek – The almighty knows what they eat, but they talk about pot odds and 3x raises as “appropriate” based on position and number of blinds left, like they were reading from a teleprompter. Makes me think of Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory and never fails to amuse me!

   Mister All-In: the guy who will always go all-in when he's down to say his last 5 big blinds, regardless of the cards he's holding. I almost always call these guys blah blah.. and especially so if it's a tournament that allows rebuys, because all Mister All-In wants to do is finish his stack and buy in again - there, I helped him out of his misery! Aren't I kind?

   And finally, the best of all – The smart players, the women – Because there are so few of us right now,, I totally believe we deserve our own category. We root for each other, indulge in fun banter while winning away chips from other players in what is mostly considered a man’s game!


What do you think? What kind of players have you encountered at the table? Hit the comment space!


Next time, I am going to tell you about all the poker table conversations I hear and am sometimes a part of. Quite a bit of learning there too!


And as always, see you at the table!







Chandni Malik

Chandni s an advocacy and communications specialist who lives and breathes poker. She is a guest writer and an avid poker player at 9stacks.